|
Puerto Banus Marbella
Guide to Essentials for Puerto Banus Marbella
This section can advise you on your essentials required when in Puerto Banus.
Should I drink on the plane?
God, you’re keen aren’t you? You’re barely out of the country and already you’re intent on writing yourself off!
While there is a lot to be said for drinking on a plane - namely, the fact that it’s free - there are a lot of other less apparent side effects. For example, if you aren’t fortunate enough to get an aisle seat, you could be trapped beside the window holding back a bursting bladder or an irresistible urge to throw up.
And that’s not to mention dehydration. The pressurised cabin will mess you up enough already on that count, but add a couple of litres of beer and your skin will start looking like it has been shrink wrapped and your urine will turn the colour of a Valencia orange.
Of course, the question of dehydration is irrelevant if you are flying home to face an unfinished report, an under-researched essay or the wrath of a wronged loved one. You need all the fortification you can get. And if it’s free, so much that better.
Drinking while travelling: Some handy hints.
Like anything with travel, there are a few rules regarding drinking that will stand you in good stead and perhaps save you from waking up in the gutter, in jail, or in an unfamiliar bed. Of course, if any of those options tickle your fancy, please feel free to ignore the advice:
Avoid drinking anything clear. Filtered of all natural ingredients it is alcohol in it’s purest form, and in many ways, little more than rocket fuel.
Don’t try and out drink the locals. Remember that most of the people you’ll fall in with are sad individuals leading meaningless, futile lives. They have nothing better to do than sit around all day drinking and have hence built up an incredible tolerance to the stuff.
Don’t mention the war ... an international sporting humiliation ... funny traditional customs that involve dressing up in effeminate costumes. People have a tendency to take this things personally after a couple of drinks and may be prepared to go to extreme lengths to defend their country’s honour.
Carry a piece of paper bearing your name, your hotel and your nationality. That way, anyone foraging through your pockets as you lay in the gutter will at least know where you should be.
Can I get to know the locals through drinking?
In many places, a shared drink is a way for people to break down barriers and start communicating. There’s something special about sipping on a refreshing ale with a kindly local, smiling inanely and nodding at each other. You may not be able to speak each others languages, but after a couple of drinks at least you’ll think you do.
Will drinking really bring me closer to the locals?
The only time that drinking will bring you closer to the locals in any kind of meaningful way is when you both pass out on the floor together.
Should I accept free drinks?
In your travels, particularly in the more remote corners of the globe, people will offer to buy you drinks. Although you may suspect they may not be able to afford to, to refuse their offer would be unfriendly. Accept their drink, but repay their kindness in some other way. Like staying in their home, for instance.
Is there any time I shouldn’t accept a free drink?
Well, it’s probably not a good idea in an Islamic country where it is illegal to drink alcohol. You’re probably being set up by the local Revolutionary Guard who will then call all his mates over to beat you up with big sticks.
What about alcohol related cons?
There are certainly plenty of those. Con merchants and thieves the world over have long been conversant with the fact that alcohol is the perfect partner for petty larceny and pilfering. A lubricated tourist is less likely to notice the nimble fingers of a pickpocket than a sober one. Or remember much when they’re finally sober enough to go to the police.
If you’re planning a big night out, it is probably best to leave your valuables in the hotel or hostel you’re staying in. That way, you know it was the manager who stole them.
Will anyone try to get me drunk in order to take advantage of me?
If you’re a girl, yes. In that way travelling is not unlike going out at home.
If you’re a guy - you wish!
What about the quality of the alcohol?
Puerto Banus offers the best quality liquors and beers on the Costa`s why else would they cost so much!
What if I am a two pot screamer?
Not a problem. In fact, it’s better if you are. For one thing, you won’t embarrass the locals by drinking them under the table, probably their only point of pride. They can leave you slumped over a couple of empties content in the knowledge that while you might be able to travel around the world at will, visiting exotic locales and sampling different cultures, you can’t hold your piss as well as they can.
Tell me about Happy Hours.
A Happy Hour is a period of time - usually an hour or so - when the proprietor of a drinking establishment magnanimously agrees to make a slightly less obscene profit and sell drinks at half price. It is becoming more and more of a feature in the travel spots of the world, especially for those whose idea of a good holiday is getting totally rat-faced.
The actual name "Happy Hour" has a fuzzy and unclear heritage, with many mistakenly believing that it refers to broad smiles on the Punters faces when they realise that they only have to shell out half their weekly wage on a round of drinks. In reality, it refers to the joyous state of the Publican when he realises that he has got people drinking like fish at a time when staff are usually polishing glasses. What’s more, they’ll probably be too drunk to move on when he quadruples prices again.
What’s your advice on heavy nights before a long journey?
Just accept them as a fact of travelling life. It is inevitable that you will have a huge night of drunken debauchery the evening before you have to get up to catch a once a week bus at 5am.
In your hung over state you may be tempted to stay in bed and avoid facing the 16 hour bus journey. Don’t. In my experiences with the kind of places that only have a once a week bus, it is much, much worse to stay that week than endure a bus journey - no matter how crowded, long or horrific it promises to be.
HANGOVERS
RED WINE: Red wine has a reputation for giving hangovers, and it\\\'s well deserved. Like that\\\'s going to stop you. Avoid bright light don\\\'t move your head and have a whole pile of water by the bed with a lot of painkillers in support
BOURBON: Still the choice of tough guys everywhere, bourbon hurts like no other spirit. It\\\'s got 8 times the congeners of gin and that means 8 times the hangover. What\\\'s a congener you say? Basically, it\\\'s the stuff in your fave drink that delivers the pain. And the more it\\\'s got the more it\\\'s gonna stick your head to the toilet.
RUM: Rumble in the jungle, it\\\'s better than bourbs but only just. Some people it with orange juice. Must be a health thing. We tried it...tastes like $#!+. Stick to Coke.
WHITE WINE: Enjoyed by everyone but seemingly a little more a ladies drink, it shows that once again women are smarter than men by finding a way to have maximum fun without the pain. For real staying power, try a spritzer.
VODKA: No longer the domain of girls only, a big burly man can now approach the bar and demand is his toughest voice a vodka lime and soda. Why? Because his mates know that if they give him grief tonight he\\\'ll be calling them fresh as a daisy at 8am the next day, virtually hangover free. Get into it.
LITE BEER: Easy on the head, light on the gut, doesn\\\'t make you fat and you might not even get busted for drink driving. Sounds great huh? But why would you? Leave the car at home and work your way back up the list.
HANGOVER CURES
GASPACHO: Kind of like pasta sauce it\\\'s one of the tomato/vege blend family of foods. And any member of that family is a friend of yours.
GRASS UP: You might have seen it growing on the counter of your local juice bar. A shot of blended wheatgrass is stacked with the nutrients that give you a natural high. Especially tasty in a smoothie, or blend with a cocktail.
PLAY IN THE HAY: When you\\\'ve tried all of the above (better still, before) settle down to a good old fashioned romp. The exercise pumps your blood, the rest, well you know what that does. And at the end you can down a big drink of water and slip back into a peaceful slumber. Ahhhh...
KEEP DRINKING: (Hair of the Dog) You\\\'ve heard it before but guess what? It works. See alcohol contains ethanol and methanol. Methanol makes your head sore, ethanol stops it working its evil magic. New drink = new ethanol = delayed pain. And more fun now.
THINK JUICY THOUGHTS: ...then drink \\\'em. The water in juice rehydrates your body, the fructose (sugar) it contains helps burn up the alcohol leaving you feeling just peachy.
HONEY MILK WINE: In a nice big, hard-to-spill saucepan, mix one glass of milk with one glass of white wine. Heat slowly mixing in honey, lemon, cinnamon, and a pinch of nutmeg. Strain and enjoy.
DRUGS
LAWS
The old law of 1967 considered drug use and possession as illegal though without imposing any punishment. Drugs use and possession for personal use do not constitute a criminal offence under Spanish law. In 1992 the Organic Law 1/1992 on the Protection of Citizen\\\'s Security, currently in force, considered consumption in public as a serious order offence punishable by administrative sanctions. Fines are the usual punishment going from 50.001 pesetas to 5 million pesetas (300 Euro to 30.000 Euro). The execution of the fine can be suspended if the person attends an official drug treatment program as regulated in Royal Decree 1079/1993 (July 2).
COURTS If the examining judge considers that the quantity of the drug apprehended (by the police) is exclusively for the personal use of the offender and that any involvement of this person in sale or trafficking can be excluded, he will most probably close the case taking no further actions.
ADVICE The most popular drug of the new Millenium is Ecstasy \\\'considered a soft drug\\\' and popular with clubbers across Europe. A common cause of dehydration combined with Spains heat and large spirit measures it can be a lethal combination.
|
